Written and posted by Jackie Olmstead, Sunday, June 16, 2024 – Sending massive hugs to you all on this Father’s Day 2024! For me, this holiday is wonderful because I was able to connect to my daughter’s father in person, my father and brother on the phone and my other family members on social media.
Not so pleasant for you?
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I know that for some, holidays aren’t necessarily happy. Don’t worry! I’m not here to change your mind about it. I’ve definitely had my times of being at odds with my father and grandfathers.
There have been times in my life that my father and I both stopped communicating with eachother. The reasons why aren’t important here but I think that the time for reflection to myself was essential to me figuring out my own mental reset (do any of these resonate with you too?):
Why did I get so angry?
Can I just allow myself to take time to figure out my own stuff? (please do this)
How does this affect me and the rest of my life? (it might and it does often for me)
What can I change about this situation? (later on, I figure out that it’s usually nothing)
How can I make peace within myself after this?
Can I give myself some credit for what situation I am in?
What does this actually change for me?
Life is a duality.
In this life, it seems that everything in it is defined by duality. No matter where you started with the relationship, there is always a potential polar opposite that may or may not manifest.
I’m sure you’ve noticed when things change with any relationship that it can feel like night and day. It’s normal and natural like the evolution of a flower coming into existence and then a completion and then the formation of a new bud. Maybe not the best comparison, but I’ve definitely seen some seemingly miracles happen.
I’m not a psychologist but I’ve had my share of experiences with healing my own relationships. I can surely say that once I’ve made peace with WHATEVER situation it is, I myself feel more calm and less rageful inside.
The main message I have in this writing is that you are definitely not alone. Sharing your situation with others whether it’s a friend or your therapist is a good idea if that helps you. I also don’t suggest dwelling on it so long, however, that you end up re-traumatizing yourself over and over.
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How do you know if you’re re-traumatizing yourself?
Well, when you are talking about it over and over so much that you feel ILL and sicker than even the first instance of the problem.
I suggest then that is the time to find help with it beyond what you’re already doing to move into a direction of what you actually want!
My mindset training over the past year has TRANSFORMED my life. The people I’ve been studying with have their roots that go all the way back to Napolean Hill.
May I offer you something?
(To be honest, I didn’t think this post would take me to this discussion. Originally I wanted to say “Have a major awesome Father’s Day and if it sucks for you, don’t worry you’re not only not alone and I send my love.”)
First thing is, if your relationship with your father is NOT how you would like it to be, may I offer you a thing to do that has been changing everything in my world? It takes maybe 8 minutes a day for however long you want to do it.
Bob Proctor suggested doing it for 90 days and he guaranteed it would change your life. I have been doing this exercise since January 2024 (6th month of it). I write about ALL aspects of my life.
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#1: In your journal write 10 things you are grateful for. Here is where I write how I would like my life to look as if it were in the present moment. Write “1. I am so happy and grateful now that……
#2: After writing 10 things, write down 3 people who you are having challenges with today/recently.
#3: THEN take 5 minutes to do nothing but to receive and listen to any messages that your brain might offer you in guidance for the day. That is it.
You know what’s interesting is that this process does NOT work to say how you want others (specific people) to behave or make them say or do things. It changes YOU and your frequency around it all. In this way, you are the one making the shift. YOU become more receptive to the energy and frequency to what you want.
The science behind it is amazing and pretty simple but I promise you it works and has worked for me and many others for manifesting things in your life. Feel free to search online or ask me about it.
The best thing about all of this
Not only is this process of healing myself around the things that I was angry about one of the BEST GIFTS I could give to myself, but also has been a healing experience for me and others around me. Getting my own mindset in tune with my own behavior and the choices I have made whether what I said or did has been really healing.
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I’ve come to a really loving, grateful and peaceful place with my father. I feel very blessed to have him as my father. Yes, we have had disagreements. No, we didn’t “resolve” them all and I don’t need that. I needed my own resolution to things that came up in the past. The time I gave myself to gain a better understanding of myself and him was majorly healing.
He’s the only dad I have in this life and I have a lot of respect for all the things he has done and what he’s gone through. Here’s to many more years of learning more about my dad.
Happy Father’s Day, my friend! I hope that this helped and lifted you up today if you needed it.
Namaste!